Although they are not enforced today, these strange English laws have never been repealed.
Mince pies cannot be eaten on Christmas Day
Why does this law exist?
Ingredients of mince pies and plum puddings were pagan in origin and their consumption part of ancient fertility rituals.
The law dates from the puritan era, the same time that dancing in church, maypoles,
and holly and ivy decorations were outlawed.
The laws were never officially repealed because upon the restoration of the monarchy
(in the form of Charles II) all laws formed under the protectorate were ignored as invalid.
All English males over the age of 14 are to carry out two or so hours of longbow practice a week,
supervised by the local clergy.
Why does this law exist?
This law dates from the middle ages when there was no standing army,
so in times of war each gentry was required to produce a quota (depending on its size) of knights,
archers, infantry etc. As the church was the only centralised instrument of bureaucracy
(the lords were independent for the most part) they were used for such tasks.
Chelsea pensioners may not be impersonated.
Why does this law exist?
Chelsea pensioners are entitled to enhanced state benefits and subsidised accommodation,
so pretending to be one is simply fraud.
It is legal for a male to urinate in public,
as long as it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle.
Why does this law exist?
One of the many Hackney carriage laws that have been unaltered for over 100 years,
and it has allegedly been done n masse during taxi/council disputes.
Boy racer caught speeding, summoned to the magistrates court and asked to plead.
"Not guilty" he cries so the trial begins.
Prosecuting counsel says "so what gear were you in" and boy racer
replies "the usual, you know Adidas track suit, Burberry cap, Nike
trainers"
Why are lawyers now used instead of lab rats in American scientific
experiments?
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Because people like rats more than lawyers.
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Because lawyers are more numerous than rats.
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Because there are some acts of depravity and beastliness that rats
will not lower their moral standards to perform, whereas lawyers...
In Court, the Judge heard from his ex',
that the problem which most used to vex,
Was the size of his dibber,
Said the Judge, with a snigger
"De Minimis Non Curat Lex"
(The law takes no notice of small things)
Not exactly a legal joke, but funny, and within the law enforcement
arena, so I'm allowing it
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks,
interviews and testing were done there were three finalists, two men and
a woman.
For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal
door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your
instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you
will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!" The man said, "You
can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then
you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went
into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came
out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The
agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the instruction to kill
her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard,
one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing and banging on
the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly
and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow. "This gun
is loaded with blanks", she said. "I had to beat him to death with the
chair."
